I have been working on an idea for a short story set in a dystopic future where overpopulation has become critical and the value of individual life is somewhat diminished. The society is dramatically stratified and resources are tightly controlled. While research and development in the field of artificial intelligence has moved forward, the motivations for its advancement are to send adapted, independent, created beings into space to create space colonies, space ports, etc. to bring resources back to the earth. Genetic modifications of human DNA continue but thus far people still require the specifics of oxygen and a pressurized environment in addition to some form of fuel. Attempts have been made to make a space jelly fish with a type of human intelligence but these have not succeeded to date. Humans are somewhat trapped on the Earth and limited from moving forward in a large exodus off the planet. There are super powerful computers that use the aligned spin of electrons to hold vast quantities of data, light pulses to process it, and a new mathematical model of programming derived from the ideas of a self organized criticality, but while these computers are more reliable in terms of pulling up specific bits of data from memory-- they still are not as effective as the human brain in processing information and coming to intuitive and encompassing decisions. Great strides have been made in information technology, energy creation and usage, genetics and biomedical/cyborg adaptations, and many academic disciplines. It has been verified that there are planets in other solar systems that could be reasonably terra-formed to support human life.
Interstellar travel has not come about and attempts at long term space travel utilizing cryogenics have not come to fruition.
Much as people today sell blood plasma for cash when things are tight. In this dystopic future, people sell brain time. Poor people go to centers where they contract with the government of the time to allow their brains to be used in a networked, wetwire system. The focus for this concentrated brain power is to develop interstellar travel to relieve the exhausted environment of earth. Being wetwire networked causes brain damage that builds over time.
Also, there is evidence that different brain patterns from types of mental illness throw kinks in the processing. Further, there is concern that because the imagination is tied to memory that having only people from impoverished backgrounds limits what can be come up with. (BTW, there is evidence that this is true. The centers of the brain that are in use when a person is remembering something are the same parts of the brain in use when a person is trying to imagine the future. Check out the article, Brain Scans of the Future in Science Daily at http://www.sciencedaily.com/videos/2007/0710-brain_scans_of_the_future.htm)
I am still working on this. I am trying to imagine a future where the hope for humanity lies with its most downtrodden. Further, I am thinking of this as something like-- I don't know how to describe this. The Egyptians built the pyramids using slave labor and less than humanitarian means. We would not consider this ethical. What societal conditions would have to become prevalent for a blatant use of humans as fodder for an achievement as momentous as interstellar travel to be justified?
On another note, other stuff that I have been thinking on is the idea of a type of martial arts developed by interstellar travelers. I have been working on a set of Space Ninja tenets. I think within their tenets would have to be things like: force equals mass times acceleration; gravity is acceleration; respiration equals life; information is crucial/discrimination is vital. Still thinking on all of this.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
To Dance Beneath the Light of the Moon
Tonight the moon hangs low in the sky-- a curve like two cupped hands spilling the sun's reflected light. I sat alone out in the night. The dark only frightens me when I hear the coyotes. Their yipping and howling sets off a kind of primal fear in me that makes me shiver and long for someone to just hold me. But tonight the only sounds were the geese overhead, a springtime peeper recently tunneled from his hibernation in the mud, the gentle shush of branches and needles of the pines rubbing together like a muted chime, and the occasional dropping of twigs through the trees.
I sat and studied the moon. Light defusing into the surrounding night sky. Light curving around and fading into shadow. The moon is a distant but constant mistress. She's dramatic and showy as a beacon in the darkness of the sky-- her brightness drowns out the light from stars who surround her. She fades and sulks--moving in cycles. At times she withdraws to darkness. But she is always there moving around the earth. She is both tempestuous and reliable. Light giving and selfish.
I danced tonight because it is spring and the snows are finally retreating. The snowdops have begun to bloom. My feet moved over brittle dried grass and dead leaves. I joined the stars in their celestial waltz moving around the night sky. I danced for the heroes of myths long forgotten. I danced because I wanted to dance beneath the light of the moon.
I sat and studied the moon. Light defusing into the surrounding night sky. Light curving around and fading into shadow. The moon is a distant but constant mistress. She's dramatic and showy as a beacon in the darkness of the sky-- her brightness drowns out the light from stars who surround her. She fades and sulks--moving in cycles. At times she withdraws to darkness. But she is always there moving around the earth. She is both tempestuous and reliable. Light giving and selfish.
I danced tonight because it is spring and the snows are finally retreating. The snowdops have begun to bloom. My feet moved over brittle dried grass and dead leaves. I joined the stars in their celestial waltz moving around the night sky. I danced for the heroes of myths long forgotten. I danced because I wanted to dance beneath the light of the moon.
Bohemian Life Skills--Making Cards
Making cards is a very easy thing to do and it can be a great deal of fun. People often appreciate getting something that has been handmade and is a reflection of the person who is sending the card.
To make cards you can use a variety of different art supplies and materials. Heavy paper or thin cardstock are a good place to start and you can cut them to any size that you like. For the cards that I am going to make I have used standard 8.5 inch by 11 inch cardstock in a variety of colors. Other good things to have on hand to make cards are markers, colored pencils, scissors, magazines, specialty art paper, paints, stamps or other materials that you think are attractive and you could affix to the card itself.
Pop-up cards are fun and really easy to make. I highly recommend the book The Elements of Pop-Up by David A. Carter and James Diaz. The ISBN for the book is: 978-0-689-82224-7. For today I am only going to describe how to do one type of pop up element called a 180 degree angle fold. To do this particular type of card you will need one piece of rectangular cardstock or heavy paper folded in half and creased for the base of the card.
Next you will need a piece of cardstock of a color that you like that you want to fold away from the interior fold of the card. For my card, I am going to make a red ladybug on a green background. I won't use an entire piece of red cardstock for the ladybug-- only a three inch by three inch piece. Before you begin, I want you to consider your folded larger piece of cardstock. Turn it over and look at it as if it were a tent. It stands away from the table or whatever surface that you have placed it on because of its rigidity and the fold that has created planes from its flat surface. When you are creating pop-ups, this is the most basic idea to keep in mind. Now, fold your secondary piece of cardstock in half. The crease that you have just created in the secondary piece of cardstock will become the forward edge that comes away from the base card.
Being careful, take your scissors and cut the secondary piece of cardstock while it is folded. Cut it in such a way that you create a quarter of a circle that when it unfolds it becomes a half circle. Just so you have an idea of where you are headed, line the crease of your secondary piece of cardstock up with the interior crease of the base larger piece of cardstock. As a half circle it will not jut away from the base piece. From the flat side of your cut half circle of cardstock, take a pencil and draw a line from what would be the center of the circle to the circumference of the circle in such a way that it is about one half inch from the the flat edge at the circumference. You are making a kind of tab that you will glue down on the base card. Do the same for the opposite edge radiating out on the other side of the half cirlce about one half inch from the flat edge along the circumference on the other side and fold that to make a tab. Now you should have something that looks a little like a small glider plane.
Being careful to line the fold of the half circle piece of cardstock up with the crease of the base piece of cardstock in such away that the half circle juts away from the card, use rubber cement and glue the tabs of the half circle onto the base cardstock and position the circle so that when the card folds the circle does not interfere with the card folding. TEST THIS OUT BEFORE THE RUBBER CEMENT DRIES and adjust if you need to. If you glue with rubber cement and it is a little sloppy that is all right because you can use a funny piece of rubber called a rubber cement pickup to rub along the excess rubber cement after it dries and it will kind of crumb up the excess rubber cement and pick it up.
To make the lady bug's head I just made another tent fold out of black cardstock for the head and used the angle created between the body (the half circle created initially to jut away from the center fold) and the base card. I also cut out some black dots and glued them onto the half circle to make the spots on the ladybug's back.
Another way to make cards is to collage. I like to take different colors of paper and specialty papers and start placing them on the base cardstock. I experiment and move them around until I find a design that I find pleasing.
In general when creating designs there are several different elements to keep in mind. Color and value are very important. Value refers to how light or dark a color is. The human eye will be drawn to the areas in your design that have the most contrast in value. Stark contrasts in values are hard for human eyes to not look at. Colors play off of one another and in a design no color stands alone. Colors are relative to one another and the perception of them changes depending on what other colors are around them. I can use a vibrant blue and deep purple in one design and have it be calm and then use them in another design and have them vibrate with energy. The difference is the colors that are placed beside them. Cool colors like blues, greens, and some purples will be very calming in a design with only these colors. However if I use one of two warm colors that are complimentary to these cool colors the design will begin to zing with life. Complimentary colors are those that are considered to be opposite to another color on a color wheel-- but I will save a complete explanation of this for another day.
Shape is also very important in design. Human eyes will trace along shapes and find more complex shapes more interesting.
Repetition is another important element in design. Repetition can solidify the overall design.
In general, pull out your supplies and allow yourself to relax and play. Create something that you like. This does not have to be complicated. Almost everyone has used children's watercolor paints or crayons. If you have nothing in the house to make art with-- go and get some crayons, a cheap box of children's watercolor paints, some markers, and paper. After you have your supplies out, put on some music that you like and sit down at the table with a cup of tea. Just start playing with the materials. Paint a wash over a piece of paper and set it to the side to dry. If you have colored paper, start cutting some shapes that you think might be interesting. Draw some squiggles or shapes on the paper with crayons or markers. Just have fun and play and turn off your inner critic. You don't have to be a great artiste-- just have fun!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Things That You Don't Want Up Your Pants
Okay, it's free association time at my house tonight.
I am writing another post at this moment about colors and I went to ask the folks who have converged for a role play gaming session to help me out. I asked them to tell me what they associated with the word azure and Zach thought that I said badger and he decided that this reminded him of an episode of Firefly. Deforest immediately said, "Things I don't want up my pants."
I said, "What?"
He said, "Badgers are things I don't want up my pants."
And then the list began: Things That You Don't Want Up Your Pants.
1. Badgers
2. Ferrets
3. Spiders
4. Leeches
5. Volcanos (which got a snicker from everyone because well how do you fit a volcano up your pants?)
6. Very active lobsters
7. Pissed off alligators
8. A stray sock that falls out later
9. President Bush (or any other president/cabinet member)
10. Fabric eating nanobots
So there you have it. You heard it first on this blog. Things you don't want up your pants.
I am writing another post at this moment about colors and I went to ask the folks who have converged for a role play gaming session to help me out. I asked them to tell me what they associated with the word azure and Zach thought that I said badger and he decided that this reminded him of an episode of Firefly. Deforest immediately said, "Things I don't want up my pants."
I said, "What?"
He said, "Badgers are things I don't want up my pants."
And then the list began: Things That You Don't Want Up Your Pants.
1. Badgers
2. Ferrets
3. Spiders
4. Leeches
5. Volcanos (which got a snicker from everyone because well how do you fit a volcano up your pants?)
6. Very active lobsters
7. Pissed off alligators
8. A stray sock that falls out later
9. President Bush (or any other president/cabinet member)
10. Fabric eating nanobots
So there you have it. You heard it first on this blog. Things you don't want up your pants.
Colors
Colors make my soul sing!
I took the afternoon today to bake sugar cookies and make cards. I love to play-- just play with art materials. I collect all sorts of papers and markers and just stuff in a kind of magpie fashion. About two times a year I go to the hardware store and I just collect all the little paint sample cards so that I can bring them home and make collages. I have a whole drawer of them at home. I also like to change the colors on the walls and play with the colors in my environment.
Today as I made cards and took photos of the process for a future Bohemian Life skills post, I played with bright green, deep purple, orange, red, vibrant blue, black, and yellow cardstock. I looked over some of my paint card samples and was amused at the names-- things like "Serious Violet". This makes me smile because I have never considered violets to be particularly serious. They have always impressed me as being a little frilly around the edges and the sort that you invite over for tea to get them to come out their shell. I asked my friend Deforest about the name Violet and if he thought Violets were serious and he said that the name reminded him of Shrinking Violet of the Legion of Superheroes. Violet reminded Zach and Kelly, who are over as well, of violence and vampires. So maybe violet is serious.
This got me thinking about other color names and I polled the folks at my house for their ideas. Here's the list:
Magenta
Magenta reminds me of a Latin dance with dramatic posturing and much down clicking of heels. Deforest thought of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Zach thought of the printing colors.
Azure
Azure made me think that it sounded like the name of a god worshipped on a far off planet where the alien humanoids live on atolls and islands surrounded by calm seas. Zach thought of dragons-- green skinned, wise, and powerful. David thought of blue skies and fighter planes flying in formation.
Indigo
For me, Indigo is a leather skinned caravan leader with kohl rimmed eyes who pulls his scarf over his face to block out the sand from his mouth and nose. Deforest and David thought of The Princess Bride and Inigo Montoya. Alex thought of the Indigo Plateau in Pokemon.
Ochre
For me, Ochre brought up images of thin muscular men with dried mud grey upon their skin and sculpted hair dancing with unfocused eyes about a raging fire. My second association was a yucky slimy vegetable, which free associated into gigantic tanks. Gigantic tanks being ogres and ogres being like onions (think Shrek). Yes, definitely free association night at my house.
Rose
For me, Rose is the name of a tragic heroine from a romance novel and I can picture a lovely young man falling to his knees, covering his face with his hands, and crying out for his beloved Rose who has left him because she thought that he no longer cared. David and Deforest thought of Dr. Who. Kelly thought of Snowwhite. David added that Rose was Dr. Occult's assistant.
Scarlet
For me, Scarlet is a long legged femme fatale who sways seductively on impossibly high heels while keeping the seam on the back of her stockings a perfect line to follow over the curves of her shapely calves. She throws a smoldering look over her wide shoulders and puckers full lips in an invitation, before walking out of the office of a hard nosed private dick who is left with his cigarette dangling ineffectively from his slack mouth. Deforest thought of the Scarlett Letter. Zach thought of Scarlett Johansson. Kelly thought of scarlet fever. David thought of Scarlett O'Hara and Gone With the Wind.
Viridian
For me, Viridian is a pale villain in a well cut, black frock coat. His green eyes twinkle with intelligence and mischief as he twists his thin, waxed mustache.
Cerulean
Cerulean is a virgin priestess with a serene demeanor who protects the sisters of her order by stepping forward and confronting the barbarian warrior who has defiled their temple and taken the women as slaves.
Chartreuse
Chartreuse reminds me of a card playing gambler who smiles too widely, laughs too loudly, and is prone to violence when discovered cheating in a round of seven card stud.
I could go on dreaming of tangerine, teal, vermillion (Viridian's sister no doubt but I haven't decided if she is virtuous or a siren), Ebony ( a black goddess who rules with a solid sense of justice and a divine sense of beauty), bone ( a starved addict who watches with too large eyes), lavender, turquoise, bronze, ecru, periwinkle--- all the beautiful colors!
I took the afternoon today to bake sugar cookies and make cards. I love to play-- just play with art materials. I collect all sorts of papers and markers and just stuff in a kind of magpie fashion. About two times a year I go to the hardware store and I just collect all the little paint sample cards so that I can bring them home and make collages. I have a whole drawer of them at home. I also like to change the colors on the walls and play with the colors in my environment.
Today as I made cards and took photos of the process for a future Bohemian Life skills post, I played with bright green, deep purple, orange, red, vibrant blue, black, and yellow cardstock. I looked over some of my paint card samples and was amused at the names-- things like "Serious Violet". This makes me smile because I have never considered violets to be particularly serious. They have always impressed me as being a little frilly around the edges and the sort that you invite over for tea to get them to come out their shell. I asked my friend Deforest about the name Violet and if he thought Violets were serious and he said that the name reminded him of Shrinking Violet of the Legion of Superheroes. Violet reminded Zach and Kelly, who are over as well, of violence and vampires. So maybe violet is serious.
This got me thinking about other color names and I polled the folks at my house for their ideas. Here's the list:
Magenta
Magenta reminds me of a Latin dance with dramatic posturing and much down clicking of heels. Deforest thought of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Zach thought of the printing colors.
Azure
Azure made me think that it sounded like the name of a god worshipped on a far off planet where the alien humanoids live on atolls and islands surrounded by calm seas. Zach thought of dragons-- green skinned, wise, and powerful. David thought of blue skies and fighter planes flying in formation.
Indigo
For me, Indigo is a leather skinned caravan leader with kohl rimmed eyes who pulls his scarf over his face to block out the sand from his mouth and nose. Deforest and David thought of The Princess Bride and Inigo Montoya. Alex thought of the Indigo Plateau in Pokemon.
Ochre
For me, Ochre brought up images of thin muscular men with dried mud grey upon their skin and sculpted hair dancing with unfocused eyes about a raging fire. My second association was a yucky slimy vegetable, which free associated into gigantic tanks. Gigantic tanks being ogres and ogres being like onions (think Shrek). Yes, definitely free association night at my house.
Rose
For me, Rose is the name of a tragic heroine from a romance novel and I can picture a lovely young man falling to his knees, covering his face with his hands, and crying out for his beloved Rose who has left him because she thought that he no longer cared. David and Deforest thought of Dr. Who. Kelly thought of Snowwhite. David added that Rose was Dr. Occult's assistant.
Scarlet
For me, Scarlet is a long legged femme fatale who sways seductively on impossibly high heels while keeping the seam on the back of her stockings a perfect line to follow over the curves of her shapely calves. She throws a smoldering look over her wide shoulders and puckers full lips in an invitation, before walking out of the office of a hard nosed private dick who is left with his cigarette dangling ineffectively from his slack mouth. Deforest thought of the Scarlett Letter. Zach thought of Scarlett Johansson. Kelly thought of scarlet fever. David thought of Scarlett O'Hara and Gone With the Wind.
Viridian
For me, Viridian is a pale villain in a well cut, black frock coat. His green eyes twinkle with intelligence and mischief as he twists his thin, waxed mustache.
Cerulean
Cerulean is a virgin priestess with a serene demeanor who protects the sisters of her order by stepping forward and confronting the barbarian warrior who has defiled their temple and taken the women as slaves.
Chartreuse
Chartreuse reminds me of a card playing gambler who smiles too widely, laughs too loudly, and is prone to violence when discovered cheating in a round of seven card stud.
I could go on dreaming of tangerine, teal, vermillion (Viridian's sister no doubt but I haven't decided if she is virtuous or a siren), Ebony ( a black goddess who rules with a solid sense of justice and a divine sense of beauty), bone ( a starved addict who watches with too large eyes), lavender, turquoise, bronze, ecru, periwinkle--- all the beautiful colors!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Serenity
I am going to give those who read this blog an upfront heads up. This is a post that is not light. While no one dies, it is kind of heavy. Don't read further if you are looking for light entertainment today. Tomorrow, I promise I'll lighten up. Promise.
Serenity. What does this mean? I have been thinking on this over the last week because I wrote to someone who I consider a friend that I needed to find some serenity. When I wrote it, it seemed an odd turn of phrase-- but I let it go. It has been worming its way through my mind.
As many people are all too keenly aware, the economy is not booming and many people have been laid off or cannot find work. I live in Michigan which has been at ground zero of the recession in the United States for the last few years-- and yes the recession started for us a few years ago. I have watched as friends and loved ones have lost jobs and homes. My own personal situation has been affected as well. While everyone can sympathize, to speak about your own personal trials is the height of self-centeredness. Everyone is going through the same or knows someone close who is. Friends want to care but are exhausted by the continuing effort. And really sympathy gets a person no where.
I won't go into details about my situation but things took a turn for the worse a month ago. And then two weeks ago they dipped further. The last several weeks have been painful, confusing, and exhausting and I don't think that it is anywhere near to over. I have noticed for myself I have been kind of cycling through being able to cope better and then not doing so well. This latest deterioration I have not dealt very well with. I have lost my balance and some of my humor and a bit of confidence. My ability to function has been impaired. I have been edgy and reactionary. In my emotional flailing, I have distanced friends and hurt one friend very badly. This was a wake up call for me. I try to be a decent person and I try very hard to not hurt other people. It pains me to think that I have hurt her and I will grieve the loss of that friendship.
I have spent a great deal of time by myself and with my thoughts over the last week. It has occurred to me that not only am I hurting others but I am hurting myself and I need to find a way to get centered and find some serenity in all the craziness. No other person can give this to me or make this happen. No job or geographic move is going to bring on the calm. It has to come from me.
I don't believe in a god. One person tried to convince me that if I just found Jesus he would take away my pain. I don't think that is the case.
Another person I know has started using alcohol to numb himself. I know this is a bad path-- as is using anything that could be an addiction such as the television, food, sex, other substances, or another person.
One could say that time and change are themselves the things to keep in mind to achieve a state of serenity but to do so is to invest oneself in the hopeful belief that things will improve with time when all the evidence around indicates that this is not the case. So I am not so certain that a belief in a future that is brighter is the best way to achieve serenity because there is only this moment that is certain.
This brings me to gratitude. I think gratitude can help build towards a sense of serenity. Taking stock of oneself and one's positive attributes and skills and being thankful for them can be self affirming. But practicing gratitude cannot include a listing of anything material-- because if the material is taken away one is left with nothing again.
The second idea that I have been thinking helps a person to work towards being centered is finding wonder and playing. It is really hard to see beauty when the world feels harsh and grey, but it is very important. I have noticed that when I take time to watch a flock of birds make a turn in perfect formation or admire the range of colors in the sunrise or read something astonishing about a new discovery, my spirits lift and I cannot stay down. Further, when I take time to dance-- actually stop and take the time even though I am scrabbling so fast and hard to get everything done-- I feel better. The music washes over me, I feel the percussion in my bones, my muscles move with the rhythm and I am transported. If I remember to sing out loud in the car instead of stewing over my problems and my list of things to do, I feel refreshed. If I draw or paint or write, it gives me a break and I feel lighter and less stressed.
The third thing that I have been thinking about as being helpful is having purpose. This seems a little contrary to the second idea, but if everything deteriorates to nothing but play, the play loses its meaning. Everything has to have balance. Purpose is tricky because it has to be something internally judged and internally motivated. A job cannot be the purpose to keep one balanced because if the job is lost-- then it is devastating. My purpose has become to write. I can control this and it helps me to work towards longer range goals. I am writing everyday. I write whenever I have a free moment. I have been working on short stories and poems and one of the drafts of one of my novels. I recently reviewed everything and deleted a bunch of files and started fresh. My purpose has become to expand my abilities with written word and to become a more expressive writer who can bring more depth of thought into her writing.
The fourth thing that I have to include in this list is that I have to consciously practice everything here. In part I have posted all of this because I wanted to have it public. Kind of a statement of purpose or declaration so that I have to be more accountable in regards to practicing what I am saying here.
The last thing is that I alone am the only one who can improve things for myself and is responsible for my own state of emotion and for my actions.
All of this is separate from anything that I do to try to find employment as a teacher or towards getting published. I am an outstanding teacher, but one of the remarkable things about the age we live in is that there are many well-educated people who are also outstanding teachers. While I will keep sending resumes out (and try to stay calm so that I don't keep screwing up on the cover letters and applications which ramps up my stress!), I cannot rely on the hope of getting a job to give me serenity and I have to remain stable even through the rejections. While I will continue to send out manuscripts for publication, I cannot use the hope of being published to bolster my spirits and I have to become detached from the let down of the rejections. If things continue to deteriorate which they may very well do, I have to count my blessings, see the wonder around me, play, maintain purpose, practice everything everyday, and take cheer in knowing that I alone am responsible for myself.
Serenity. What does this mean? I have been thinking on this over the last week because I wrote to someone who I consider a friend that I needed to find some serenity. When I wrote it, it seemed an odd turn of phrase-- but I let it go. It has been worming its way through my mind.
As many people are all too keenly aware, the economy is not booming and many people have been laid off or cannot find work. I live in Michigan which has been at ground zero of the recession in the United States for the last few years-- and yes the recession started for us a few years ago. I have watched as friends and loved ones have lost jobs and homes. My own personal situation has been affected as well. While everyone can sympathize, to speak about your own personal trials is the height of self-centeredness. Everyone is going through the same or knows someone close who is. Friends want to care but are exhausted by the continuing effort. And really sympathy gets a person no where.
I won't go into details about my situation but things took a turn for the worse a month ago. And then two weeks ago they dipped further. The last several weeks have been painful, confusing, and exhausting and I don't think that it is anywhere near to over. I have noticed for myself I have been kind of cycling through being able to cope better and then not doing so well. This latest deterioration I have not dealt very well with. I have lost my balance and some of my humor and a bit of confidence. My ability to function has been impaired. I have been edgy and reactionary. In my emotional flailing, I have distanced friends and hurt one friend very badly. This was a wake up call for me. I try to be a decent person and I try very hard to not hurt other people. It pains me to think that I have hurt her and I will grieve the loss of that friendship.
I have spent a great deal of time by myself and with my thoughts over the last week. It has occurred to me that not only am I hurting others but I am hurting myself and I need to find a way to get centered and find some serenity in all the craziness. No other person can give this to me or make this happen. No job or geographic move is going to bring on the calm. It has to come from me.
I don't believe in a god. One person tried to convince me that if I just found Jesus he would take away my pain. I don't think that is the case.
Another person I know has started using alcohol to numb himself. I know this is a bad path-- as is using anything that could be an addiction such as the television, food, sex, other substances, or another person.
One could say that time and change are themselves the things to keep in mind to achieve a state of serenity but to do so is to invest oneself in the hopeful belief that things will improve with time when all the evidence around indicates that this is not the case. So I am not so certain that a belief in a future that is brighter is the best way to achieve serenity because there is only this moment that is certain.
This brings me to gratitude. I think gratitude can help build towards a sense of serenity. Taking stock of oneself and one's positive attributes and skills and being thankful for them can be self affirming. But practicing gratitude cannot include a listing of anything material-- because if the material is taken away one is left with nothing again.
The second idea that I have been thinking helps a person to work towards being centered is finding wonder and playing. It is really hard to see beauty when the world feels harsh and grey, but it is very important. I have noticed that when I take time to watch a flock of birds make a turn in perfect formation or admire the range of colors in the sunrise or read something astonishing about a new discovery, my spirits lift and I cannot stay down. Further, when I take time to dance-- actually stop and take the time even though I am scrabbling so fast and hard to get everything done-- I feel better. The music washes over me, I feel the percussion in my bones, my muscles move with the rhythm and I am transported. If I remember to sing out loud in the car instead of stewing over my problems and my list of things to do, I feel refreshed. If I draw or paint or write, it gives me a break and I feel lighter and less stressed.
The third thing that I have been thinking about as being helpful is having purpose. This seems a little contrary to the second idea, but if everything deteriorates to nothing but play, the play loses its meaning. Everything has to have balance. Purpose is tricky because it has to be something internally judged and internally motivated. A job cannot be the purpose to keep one balanced because if the job is lost-- then it is devastating. My purpose has become to write. I can control this and it helps me to work towards longer range goals. I am writing everyday. I write whenever I have a free moment. I have been working on short stories and poems and one of the drafts of one of my novels. I recently reviewed everything and deleted a bunch of files and started fresh. My purpose has become to expand my abilities with written word and to become a more expressive writer who can bring more depth of thought into her writing.
The fourth thing that I have to include in this list is that I have to consciously practice everything here. In part I have posted all of this because I wanted to have it public. Kind of a statement of purpose or declaration so that I have to be more accountable in regards to practicing what I am saying here.
The last thing is that I alone am the only one who can improve things for myself and is responsible for my own state of emotion and for my actions.
All of this is separate from anything that I do to try to find employment as a teacher or towards getting published. I am an outstanding teacher, but one of the remarkable things about the age we live in is that there are many well-educated people who are also outstanding teachers. While I will keep sending resumes out (and try to stay calm so that I don't keep screwing up on the cover letters and applications which ramps up my stress!), I cannot rely on the hope of getting a job to give me serenity and I have to remain stable even through the rejections. While I will continue to send out manuscripts for publication, I cannot use the hope of being published to bolster my spirits and I have to become detached from the let down of the rejections. If things continue to deteriorate which they may very well do, I have to count my blessings, see the wonder around me, play, maintain purpose, practice everything everyday, and take cheer in knowing that I alone am responsible for myself.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Seven Directions at Once
As is frequently the situation, my mind is going in about six, no seven, different directions at once and so I am having a bit of an issue as to what to post. So-- cue the special hard driving rock and roll music-- lately I have been listening to Nine Inch Nails, Black Sabbath (as if you couldn't tell from the posts), the Ramones, the Kinks, Prodigy, and 30 Seconds to Mars. Oh, and the Velvet Underground. But you can never have too much of the Velvet Underground.
So the Seven Directions my mind is being pulled in:
Direction One
I was thinking about what would be cool inventions to have. You know things like the ability to upload knowledge directly into the brain while one slept or the ability to interface directly into the computer-- although this one I am dubious about because I am not sure that the world is ready for my thoughts that raw. Another cool invention would be clothing that adjusted its degree of warmth based on cues from the wearer. I am always cold so having clothing that would be able to adjust and warm me up would be fabulous. Or imagine total camouflage clothing so that one could hide in plain site although that might have drawbacks. A few weeks ago I saw a picture of expandable Buzz Lightyear style wings on a website so I went searching for cool inventions and found a baby pillow shaped like hands on http://www.fwdemails.com/2007/11/24/cool-inventions/ I am not sure if I think this is really cool or kind of creepy.
Direction Two
I have been working on three different short stories over the last week and I was thinking about a scenario where a women joins a colonizing group thinking that she is going off to a new world to start fresh and really what ends up happening is that she has been conned and the group organizing the colonizing efforts is really exploiting the would be colonists. So this got me to thinking about exploitation in a future with interstellar space travel. I think the interstellar space travel would have to be something that is about as common as airplane travel is to us but without all of the galaxy/known space totally mapped. I am not sure about this and if this all follows because clandestine interstellar travel seems a wee bit far fetched but I may just be hung up on something in my own brain and need to come to terms with some glitch that I am throwing into this. I think it is just the idea that interstellar travel would ever be something commonplace and not needing extraordinary amounts of energy and lots of preparation to achieve. The benefit of the exploitation would have to be worth all the problems and obstacles and cost that would have to be overcome. Still working on this one.
Direction Three
Are people inherently good, savage, or just kind of neutral and happen to attune to whatever is in the environment? Really don't know. Still thinking on this. I would like to think that most people are good. I am not sure. I try to be good and decent and I screw up on occasion pretty significantly. Still thinking on this. I am also reading Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett which is very funny.
Direction Four
I have been trying to come up with a set of six words to write a sestina. Sestinas are poems. Hideously difficult poems to write. The Handbook of Poetic Forms edited by Ron Padgett describes them as follows: "The sestina has six unrhymed stanzas of six lines each in which the words at the ends of the first stanza's lines recur in a rolling pattern at the ends of all the other lines. The sestina then concludes with a tercet (three-line stanza) that also uses all six end-words, two to a line." So in other words, the sestina keeps recycling its end words and is a long poem. It is important to pick those special six end words with a great deal of thought because they have to have multiple meanings and work together because otherwise the poem just keeps treading over and over the same ideas and is dreadfully boring. If you have suggestions for words-- please leave them in comments. I have been working on this for a bit. I tried doing something with moon, cycles, light, dark, look, and a sixth word that I could not settle on but it was really pretty godawful. Not even funny godawful- as in so bad it was laughable. It was just plain... bad.
Direction Five
If you were fighting in a zero gravity environment, how would you have to change the way that you fight? With nothing to stop the momentum, a brute force punch could require an exhausting amount of energy to pull back and compensate from. What would a martial arts developed in space look like? What would be its basic philosophy? How would it look? Just thinking on this because if people do get to space in a real and meaningful way this might be something that could come about. Imagine a story about space ninjas. Oooo. Or alien space ninjas.
Directions Six
Applying for jobs. I have been applying for jobs and I am having some difficulties with downloading or copying and pasting my resume onto the online applications. Even though I have saved the resume in plain text format, one of the sites that I have applied to multiple times keeps mangling my resume and I don't know if it is just mangling it in the view window but prints fine. Or is utterly mangling it. It also seems to be changing some of the letters to capitals where I did not have capitals so I am not sure what to make of this. I keep copying and pasting per the site's directions but I am kind of worried that what they are getting on their end is such a mess that I am in no way going to be considered for those jobs.
Direction Seven
Uh, I just realized that I don't think I can share these thoughts with everyone because this isn't that kind of site.
So the Seven Directions my mind is being pulled in:
Direction One
I was thinking about what would be cool inventions to have. You know things like the ability to upload knowledge directly into the brain while one slept or the ability to interface directly into the computer-- although this one I am dubious about because I am not sure that the world is ready for my thoughts that raw. Another cool invention would be clothing that adjusted its degree of warmth based on cues from the wearer. I am always cold so having clothing that would be able to adjust and warm me up would be fabulous. Or imagine total camouflage clothing so that one could hide in plain site although that might have drawbacks. A few weeks ago I saw a picture of expandable Buzz Lightyear style wings on a website so I went searching for cool inventions and found a baby pillow shaped like hands on http://www.fwdemails.com/2007/11/24/cool-inventions/ I am not sure if I think this is really cool or kind of creepy.
Direction Two
I have been working on three different short stories over the last week and I was thinking about a scenario where a women joins a colonizing group thinking that she is going off to a new world to start fresh and really what ends up happening is that she has been conned and the group organizing the colonizing efforts is really exploiting the would be colonists. So this got me to thinking about exploitation in a future with interstellar space travel. I think the interstellar space travel would have to be something that is about as common as airplane travel is to us but without all of the galaxy/known space totally mapped. I am not sure about this and if this all follows because clandestine interstellar travel seems a wee bit far fetched but I may just be hung up on something in my own brain and need to come to terms with some glitch that I am throwing into this. I think it is just the idea that interstellar travel would ever be something commonplace and not needing extraordinary amounts of energy and lots of preparation to achieve. The benefit of the exploitation would have to be worth all the problems and obstacles and cost that would have to be overcome. Still working on this one.
Direction Three
Are people inherently good, savage, or just kind of neutral and happen to attune to whatever is in the environment? Really don't know. Still thinking on this. I would like to think that most people are good. I am not sure. I try to be good and decent and I screw up on occasion pretty significantly. Still thinking on this. I am also reading Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett which is very funny.
Direction Four
I have been trying to come up with a set of six words to write a sestina. Sestinas are poems. Hideously difficult poems to write. The Handbook of Poetic Forms edited by Ron Padgett describes them as follows: "The sestina has six unrhymed stanzas of six lines each in which the words at the ends of the first stanza's lines recur in a rolling pattern at the ends of all the other lines. The sestina then concludes with a tercet (three-line stanza) that also uses all six end-words, two to a line." So in other words, the sestina keeps recycling its end words and is a long poem. It is important to pick those special six end words with a great deal of thought because they have to have multiple meanings and work together because otherwise the poem just keeps treading over and over the same ideas and is dreadfully boring. If you have suggestions for words-- please leave them in comments. I have been working on this for a bit. I tried doing something with moon, cycles, light, dark, look, and a sixth word that I could not settle on but it was really pretty godawful. Not even funny godawful- as in so bad it was laughable. It was just plain... bad.
Direction Five
If you were fighting in a zero gravity environment, how would you have to change the way that you fight? With nothing to stop the momentum, a brute force punch could require an exhausting amount of energy to pull back and compensate from. What would a martial arts developed in space look like? What would be its basic philosophy? How would it look? Just thinking on this because if people do get to space in a real and meaningful way this might be something that could come about. Imagine a story about space ninjas. Oooo. Or alien space ninjas.
Directions Six
Applying for jobs. I have been applying for jobs and I am having some difficulties with downloading or copying and pasting my resume onto the online applications. Even though I have saved the resume in plain text format, one of the sites that I have applied to multiple times keeps mangling my resume and I don't know if it is just mangling it in the view window but prints fine. Or is utterly mangling it. It also seems to be changing some of the letters to capitals where I did not have capitals so I am not sure what to make of this. I keep copying and pasting per the site's directions but I am kind of worried that what they are getting on their end is such a mess that I am in no way going to be considered for those jobs.
Direction Seven
Uh, I just realized that I don't think I can share these thoughts with everyone because this isn't that kind of site.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Musing on Brain Research
I just returned from one of the classes that I am taking this semester and I needed to decompress a bit so after watching a rather disturbing episode of South Park in which the entire class had lice, I decided to cruise the internet and look for some breaking science news. After reading an article on the Science Daily site which can be found at www.sciencedaily.com/news/ about how children learn differently depending on how old they are, I read an article about correlating IQ test scores with MRI imaging. A researcher at Caltech working with patients in the brain lesion registry from the University of Iowa administered the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale to 241 neurological patients who all had some degree of cognitive impairments from a variety of different ailments. The researcher was able to correlate the region of the patients' brain injuries with scores on each of the four Wechsler subtests. Other than processing speed, which seems to be a skill that is not localized in the brain, the other three subsections of the test seem to depend on very specific regions of the brain. The article talks a bit about revamping the test because verbal comprehension and working memory seem to be skills that rely on the same area of the brain.
Okay at this point I had to take a big deep breath.
I have been filling out job applications to become a teacher again after a four year hiatus. Some of the job applications that I have filled out include things like credit checks, police background checks, multiple essay questions, and personality inventories in addition to the standard application, resume, and references.
I could see a day in the future when a job applicant might be asked to have a standard MRI completed to submit with his or her application. Or the technology might go farther and be coupled with a personality inventory so that responses in areas of the brain could be mapped to ensure that the applicant would be a suitable employee. And perhaps an applicant will have to swab the side of his or her cheek and submit a DNA sample on top of the MRI and personality inventory in order to be proven to be an acceptable candidate. Perhaps all hiring will be done based on these methods and suitable candidates will be determined from statistical norms that indicate what type of personality profile, brain map, and genetic propensity best are suited to the type of employment.
Beyond the nightmare of trying to place this scenario within any context concerned with privacy rights, how does this integrate into ideas concerning discrimination? Also consider that the synergy that can happen within a work environment when people who think differently come together, mix different ideas, and approach problems in different styles will be entirely lost. Further, factors of motivation for why people do the work that they do would have no bearing. But the work force will be much easier to control potentially.
Of course this technology is just one step away from designing the perfect worker for whatever need if you combine it with rapidly advancing techniques in genetic engineering. And for that matter an entire utopian society could be created based on having everyone suited perfectly to their station in society. Different species of humanoid could even be created to codify castes or worker roles.
I will never argue that we should not do research and strive to learn as much as we can about ourselves, our environment, the universe, whatever, --but I do think that as a society we need to consider how the information might be potentially used and if this is a use that will benefit our species as a whole. Information for information sake is one thing, but we need to critically examine that information, its potential uses, and its ramifications. Further, we need to make active and aware decisions of how the information will be used.
Okay at this point I had to take a big deep breath.
I have been filling out job applications to become a teacher again after a four year hiatus. Some of the job applications that I have filled out include things like credit checks, police background checks, multiple essay questions, and personality inventories in addition to the standard application, resume, and references.
I could see a day in the future when a job applicant might be asked to have a standard MRI completed to submit with his or her application. Or the technology might go farther and be coupled with a personality inventory so that responses in areas of the brain could be mapped to ensure that the applicant would be a suitable employee. And perhaps an applicant will have to swab the side of his or her cheek and submit a DNA sample on top of the MRI and personality inventory in order to be proven to be an acceptable candidate. Perhaps all hiring will be done based on these methods and suitable candidates will be determined from statistical norms that indicate what type of personality profile, brain map, and genetic propensity best are suited to the type of employment.
Beyond the nightmare of trying to place this scenario within any context concerned with privacy rights, how does this integrate into ideas concerning discrimination? Also consider that the synergy that can happen within a work environment when people who think differently come together, mix different ideas, and approach problems in different styles will be entirely lost. Further, factors of motivation for why people do the work that they do would have no bearing. But the work force will be much easier to control potentially.
Of course this technology is just one step away from designing the perfect worker for whatever need if you combine it with rapidly advancing techniques in genetic engineering. And for that matter an entire utopian society could be created based on having everyone suited perfectly to their station in society. Different species of humanoid could even be created to codify castes or worker roles.
I will never argue that we should not do research and strive to learn as much as we can about ourselves, our environment, the universe, whatever, --but I do think that as a society we need to consider how the information might be potentially used and if this is a use that will benefit our species as a whole. Information for information sake is one thing, but we need to critically examine that information, its potential uses, and its ramifications. Further, we need to make active and aware decisions of how the information will be used.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Good Omens/Small Evils
I have just started reading Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchet. In the very beginning of the book the demon Crowley ties up every portable phone system in London during lunch hour for forty five minutes thus causing all sorts of fury and mayhem.
This got me thinking about all the small little things that could be small inspired little evils. Not big evils like decaffeinated coffee. Or stealing. Or murder. Or my personal favorite--worshipping false gods. What makes a god false? But that's another post.
Anyway, small evils.
Like travel mugs that drip coffee on your shirt and if you are chesty the spot is there all day drawing attention to your assets in a most uncomfortable way.
Or intermittent internet connectivity that goes in and out as you are trying to fill in that online application that involves a timed personality inventory and ten small essay questions. Actually just intermittent internet connectivity in a cafe where a number of people go to be productive.
Or public doors with a handle to pull but really have to be pushed.
Or paperback novels with a page missing.
Or discovering that the fork you packed with lunch is mysteriously missing. Or lunch counters with no napkins. Or a waitress that forgets to bring condiments.
Or the brilliant idea to look up how to spell a word in the dictionary.
Or the banking policy of charging extra for bounced checks.
Or the mixed up idea that kids should nap in the afternoon and adults shouldn't.
I cannot think of more right now. Perhaps later. If anyone can think of some small evils that generate fury or inspiration for sin by all means add to my list.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Bohemian Life Skills-- Making Vegetarian Lentil Soup
I recently renewed my conviction to be a vegetarian after some thought about the nature of intelligence. I was thinking about alien intelligence and how there could be alien intelligence that we as human beings would not recognize as intelligence because it would be so different from our own. I began to think about how there are many life forms on the planet and we are really not so special. I also decided that perhaps other creatures could have their own form of intelligence that really might not be any less than our own. So now I cannot eat anything with a brain or for that matter a nervous system. The thought of eating something that might show some form of intelligence kind of whigs me out.
Other people have their own reasons for adopting a vegetarian diet. This is mine. I have heard all the other arguments about land use and resources and cruelty to animals and I don't disagree with them-- I just have my own reason for being a vegetarian. If you are a vegetarian and want to share why, please do so in the comments. I always find the reasons somewhat fascinating. If you aren't a vegetarian, I am not going to try to convince you. You eat what you like. However, the recipe that I am posting today is a vegetarian lentil soup recipe. You can make it with Italian sausage instead of the sausage style, veggie protein, protein substitute if you want. I am posting this recipe because I have seen a bunch of folks turn vegetarian and then not know what to eat. This recipe could be adapted to be vegan also. Just don't use the butter, use olive oil to saute the vegetables in.
Italian Style Vegetarian Lentil Soup
1- one pound bag of lentils
1-28 ounce can of Italian style chopped tomatoes
2-32 ounce containers of vegetable stock
2 cups diced carrots
2 cups diced celery
1 large diced onion
6 cloves garlic
1/2 cup butter
1/8 cup fennel
1 tablespoon salt
pepper
1 cup chopped fresh parsley
Step One
Put the lentils in a strainer and rinse them and pick out any small stones or lentils that don't look good. Put the lentils in a large stock pot and pour in the 2-32 fluid ounce containers of vegetable stock and the 28 ounce can of Italian style chopped tomatoes. Put this on the stove, cover with a tight fitting lid, and start to simmer. The lentils will need 35-45 minutes of gently simmering to get soft. While they are simmering, prepare the other ingredients to go into the soup.
Step Two
If you haven't already diced the carrots, onions, and celery, you should do this now. Make sure that you wash and peel the carrots and cut off the bitter ends of the celery. When you dice the vegetables they should be tiny pieces about the size of a lentil. If you have them too big, the texture of the soup is different and it takes longer to saute the carrots to get them soft. After the vegetables are diced, chop the six cloves of garlic into tiny bits. By cloves, I mean the sections of garlic in a big bulb. I like lots of garlic-- enough to keep vampires away, but even I would have a hard time with six whole bulbs of garlic so I just wanted to make sure that was clear.
Step Three
Place the chopped garlic, diced carrots, diced celery, and diced onion into a large cast iron or other frying pan. Put the 1/2 cup of butter into the frying pan and turn up the heat on the stovetop to medium high. Begin to stir the vegetables and garlic in the pan, make sure that you don't flop bits over the edge of the pan into the flames or onto the burner-- so stir gently. After the butter has melted and the vegetables are beginning to cook a bit add the 1 tablespoon of salt, how ever much pepper that you like, and the 1/8 cup of fennel. Fennel is the spice used in Italian sausage that makes Italian sausage taste like Italian sausage. Keep stirring the vegetables. After a few minutes open the tube of sausage style, veggie protein, protein substitute and put it in with the vegetables. Keep stirring and cooking the whole mix. You want to get the protein cooked in with the flavors of the vegetables, garlic, and herbs because the stuff tastes very bland on its own but if cooked with other foods it soaks up their flavors. Keep stirring and sauteing the vegetables, butter, garlic, herbs, and veggie protein until the onions begin to look translucent.
Step Four
At this point it has probably been about a half hour to forty five minutes and the lentils in the stock pot with the vegetable stock and the Italian style chopped tomatoes are probably soft.If your lentils are not soft yet, just turn the heat off under the frying pan with the vegetables and let the lentils cook a bit until they are soft. Pour the sauteed vegetables, garlic, herbs, and vegetable protein into the stock pot with the lentils, vegetable stock, and tomatoes. Stir and leave it to simmer.
Step Five
If you haven't already, chop up the fresh parsley. When you chop fresh parsley, rinse it and then place it on a cutting board. Cut off the stalks and then just kind of seesaw a large sharp knife back and forth across the parsley. The reassemble the parsley back into a mound and repeat this a few times until it is chopped up somewhat fine. Put the parsley into the stock pot and stir.
Step Six
Taste the soup you made. You might want to add salt if it seems bland. Other herbs that go well in this soup are oregano and basil. I like to have this soup with freshly grated parmesan cheese on top and a hunk of homemade bread to dip into the soup.
I hope that you enjoy this soup as much as I do.
Our Savage Nature
I watched the movie Twilight last night. I have read the entire Twilight series and thought that the first book was a very sweet love story-- even with the love interest being a vampire. Stephanie Meyer also touches on themes in the book about evil. Edward, her vampire, considers himself a monster. An evil monster and yet he and his entire family make the choice to not take human lives to feed themselves. By their own choice they demonstrate an awareness of their own savage nature and they rise above it. It is their awareness and conscious choice that makes them virtuous and they are working against their own instincts and nature.
I believe that humanity as a group is more or less savage in nature. A lack of resources and survival needs fuel this savageness and it mainly becomes clear in extreme situations where survival is not necessarily a guarantee.
Currently, living in the United States, I don't necessarily witness many glimpses of the extremes of humanity's savage nature. What is brought to the press are those instances of aberrant behavior where a murderer has chosen to take another person's life-- and this is all too common. Or someone filled with hate and feeling threatened by the 'differentness' of another person commits a hate crime. Or someone commits robbery and it appears in the crime blotter of the local paper.
Of course there are unreported instances of unethical behavior. If there is a chance to gain surreptitiously, some people will take advantage of the situation. I have read statistics stating that 30 percent of high schoolers will cheat on tests, 60 percent of high school students have stolen something, and 67 percent of the population has stolen something from work.
However, most people are harmless because it is easier to be so. Community and the threat of being ostracized or punished keeps most people in line. There is more benefit to be had from being a good, law abiding citizen than not. Right?
I was reading the Sunday paper this morning and one of the inserts is Parade magazine. The cover story on Parade magazine is "The World's 10 Worst Dictators". On the cover a sub-caption reads "In Zimbabwe, strongman Robert Mugabe (#1) has allowed a campaign of rape and violence against women: 'When We Catch You, We Will Kill You'". While I am a little put off at the sensational presentation of this information in Parade magazine, the information needs to be available and distributed. The ten men who are listed as "The World's Worst Dictators" are the leaders of countries where such things as rape and murder are considered government policies to coerce their citizenry. In one of the countries it is acceptable to execute children for purported crimes. In this country boys as young as 15 and girls as young as 9 can be executed. In another country there is no penal code and "trial defendants often cannot question witnesses"(Parade, March 22, 2009 p.5). In these countries the press is controlled and elections are only held to confirm the rule of the dictator. Humanity's savage nature is brought to the fore in these countries and made to be the norm.
What's worse is that the United States while condemning the human rights abuses in these countries continues to trade with seven of them, is dependent on four of them for oil, and one of them is the largest foreign creditor that the United States has. So while we can look at our lifestyle and creation of our insular notion of what is proper behavior and feel good about how civilized we as Americans are, we as Americans are condoning by our tacit refusal to be aware abuses in other countries. We are only less savage by degrees than someone in one of these countries where human rights abuse is the norm and who commits an atrocity because that has become the normalized behavior. Is our need for oil, the raw materials for manufacturing, or credit worth human suffering and death?
Turning my attention back to society within the United States it occurs to me further that there are thousands of small instances where cruelties are committed because they are the norm. Instances of discrimination or prejudice against anyone is a denying of who that person is as individual. And often these instances are just accepted within the culture.
So what does make a person decent? I believe it is an awareness of the savage nature of humanity and the decision to treat others with kindness. I believe it is the decision to orient oneself by one's own internal compass of what constitutes right behavior and act better than society would consider acceptable. I also believe that actions show the measure of a person. We are all potential monsters but we can choose to be virtuous.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
A New Poetic Effort
This is a poem that I wrote this week as I was trying to write a sestina. I decided that sestinas are incredibly difficult. This poem fits in with a collection of poems that I have been working on that have to do with spells and magic. It is the most non-specific in this regard that I have written. I am not certain of the quality of this effort, but offer it up.
Never Standing Still
We are marching
into the lands of the west
beyond the curve of the horizon
where the sun's blood splatters
against a dark sky
every evening
and the stars' flickering lights
applaud the gruesome
death scene
with erudite celestial comments
upon its repeated dramatic exit.
We are in procession.
Grandfather before father before son.
Footfalls in unison like counted heartbeats.
The old ghosts watch
with large round eyes
and empty bellies.
Baskets of lembas
will not satisfy their hunger.
We are traveling.
Fireflies zipping in the darkness
leaving contrails of neon light
on watching retinas
before fading gently into the black.
A candle flame in the gloom
offers the way home.
At this moment
my magic is that I am me.
In time,
seeing the reflection
while gazing forward
with my measured span
of tea in morning cups,
daily bread for sustenance,
and small tasks to occupy the minutes.
But what spell can I work
upon myself to satisfy
the craving for more?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Watch, Reflect, Write, and Awaken
I have just returned from seeing The Watchmen.
I am utterly ramped up right now. I remember the US release of The Watchmen in 1987. I was living in a co-op at the time and a bunch of us used to walk to the local comic book store and buy comics when they came out. My favorite at the time was Swamp Thing that Alan Moore had been writing since about 1983. I read The Watchmen before it was a phenomena and was blown away. In part by the writing which reflected the angst of the time. The Berlin Wall had not fallen. The Soviet Union was still a dominant force. Afghanistan was a quagmire. The threat of nuclear war was something that hung in the air. And into this mix appeared The Watchmen.
I have been thinking about what makes good science fiction or good speculative fiction. The goal has to be more than the aim to just get published. Last weekend I critiqued a bunch of stories on an online critique that I participate in. I try every week to read as many of the stories that are up for critique as I can so that I can get a feel for what people are writing. I am not going to comment on basic things like good grammar and punctuation, showing and not telling, and maintaining a consistent, and appropriate to the endeavor, voice. Just having a facility with words is necessary that I don't think needs to be repeated, but I want to move beyond that and comment further.
I think writers need to uncompromisingly strive for more. Writers are the observers and commentators on society. We are those who are watching. It is up to us to watch, reflect, and write. We need to engage all of our faculties and see the world as it is and reflect it back with a bold, unflinching fierceness that will cause shock waves of thought. That's what we are here for. Not to write prozac to numb the minds of those who would just as soon look away and go about their comfortable lives. Not to write dreams for those who would escape into fantasy to lose the painful connection with this world. We need to awaken the sleepers with whispers of unsaid injustices, rouse to consciousness those who would rather not consider or be made aware, argue passionately for vision, and engage those who would spread somnolence and make the selfish nature of their actions visible.
Our words need to ring out and echo with meaning, reflecting our thoughts, and adding to societal dialogue in regards to bigger issues. Setting has to become more than setting. Characters have to be more than the mind doppelgangers of their creators or stock puppets that we move through the trite time worn tales that have predominated since shadows cast from cave fires flickered on the flinty walls of early man's shelter. Metaphor and meaning have to be rife. There has to be well thought out and considered ideas embedded within the writing. The fiction has to explore greater themes for the writing to move into the arena of being considered good fiction.
The possibilities are endless-- there are so many things to comment on in one's writing. I think the message can be anything from an uncompromising intimate exploration into difficult personal situations as a commentary on the roles of various subgroups of the population to an exploration of one aspect of the use of some scientific breakthrough and its impact on people. There are so many possibilities that I cannot even begin to name them all. But the commentary and exploration of thought within the fiction needs to be real and immediate and it needs to be timely and it needs to be fresh. The author has to have some new or expanded thoughts on themes or come up with new themes. Recycling the same old same old only works with a fresh infusion of some new and expanded thought. Otherwise don't bother.
Good fiction also stays with a person who has read it and the person finds themselves reflecting upon it later. More on this in another post. It is well past midnight and I must go to bed.
Power of Creative Meaning Making?
I only have about an hour between class and having to go to work tutoring mathematics so I am going to get as much of my thoughts out as I can in this short time. I may come back later and add more. Just to kind of let anyone reading know that I am probably not done yet. Also, this is me kind of thinking on the blog. You are getting my thoughts pretty close to when they occur to me and therefore 'raw' and I am having a very long and confusing week.
I have been thinking quite a mish mosh of thoughts this morning. I began by thinking about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and wondering how that would translate into a paradigm with quick resource oriented interactions between humans becoming the norm. (If you need a little about Maslow here is the wikipedia link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs).
I came to the conclusion that it could very well negate any possibility or realization of the upper most needs of self esteem and self actualization.
This then made me think for a few moments about if these are really very important. I mean at a baseline the only real important things are survival, resource accumulation, and reproduction. Right? Feeling good about oneself and and meaning are kind of subjective. But I kind of wonder what begins to happen to civilization and culture over successive generations. And what new declaration of "fitness" arises to organize the inequitable distribution of resources.
Next all of this made me think about the concept of meaning and took me down a kind of existential avenue. Maybe a dark alley. But I began to think about the evolution of life from single celled creatures that can only take in nutrients, turn the nutrients to energy, and divide to reproduce up to creatures capable of being both self aware and able to reflect upon their reality and any potential meaning.
Several thoughts popped into my head. The first being that there may very well be no ultimate meaning to reality beyond any meaning that we as a self aware species collectively decides to create, that if we reduce meaning down to just an exchange of resources we are not much different than the single celled creatures I described above, and that if the pinnacle of our self determined, self aware, and reflective actions is to deduce there is no meaning we are an elaborate redundancy. In essence, we don't think and therefore are-- we think and are reduced to pond scum. Gee great.
So next I began thinking about meaning itself. I decided that meaning is not one of those things that ranges on a spectrum. It either is there or it isn't there. We might not be able to perceive the meaning of reality but it is either an actuality or not. So, I began to think about the meaning of this idea. Meaning imbues reality with a potential poignancy. A sense of wonder. But is this just a kind of hopeful affirmation of life? An elevation of existence that may have no further meaning than being an infinite genetic loop perpetuated by DNA that has hit upon the correct method and is just creating a kind of odd constancy through a reality that could care less. Without meaning reality is inert.
BTW don't know if this is significant or not-- the whole question of meaning in reality being further called into question-- but as I was up and walking this morning and thinking on things this is the point at which I almost tripped over a skunk. The skunk was as startled to see me as I was to see it. I squawked and jumped about eight feet to my left into the road and dashed across the pavement to the sidewalk on the other side of the street. Luckily, I did not get sprayed. The skunk did spray, because, well-- why not? Then it waddled away into the woods.
Okay. Anyway. Dead, as in meaningless reality, or alive reality. Some of this comes down to belief. But belief is a subjective creation of meaning with no deducible or physical evidence. I think it comes down to what one really wants to believe. The idea that we create our own reality does hold both significance for individuals and for society.
Which leads me a spiraling back to my original consideration and wondering if we want to allow our interactions to become only quick, resource oriented interactions. Some of the problems that I see inherent in quick, resource oriented transactions are that they reduce people down. Down to what they can do for other people and away from any higher consideration of the individuality or humanity of people. People become commodities-- a collection of assets evaluated based on skills, resources that have been accumulated, ability to offer sexual services/meet sexual needs, etc. Considerations of uniqueness, creativity, expression of individual voice and experience, not obvious potentials, etc. all get lost.
Perhaps the key to all of this is to be very aware of possibilities and choose individual actions that support the reality that one wants to eventuate. If reality can be created, I have the power to create a reality that I find acceptable and to orient my own interactions along these lines. And to shed those interactions that don't fit.
I am also having thoughts on what makes exceptional science fiction or speculative fiction. I am not sure it is more than swirling thoughts yet though. That might have to wait a day or so to ferment.
I had other thoughts but I was distracted. I think I need more coffee before I go and begin tutoring algebra, trigonometry, and basic mathematics.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Ghosts
I have been having some thoughts today about the internet as an alternate form of reality that is impinging upon the material, "real" reality. The internet is the ultimate creation from nothing more than ideas and information. It is a created reality that depends entirely upon the physical. Without the worldwide infrastructure that allows the internet to even exist, it would not be possible. Without people-- real people-- pouring forth ideas and information it would not have a life. And yet I see this odd feedback loop where the physical reality creates the internet and the internet is in some ways shaping the way people think. This shaping of thoughts has both good and bad aspects.
The internet allows a person to move quite freely and obtain obscure information that would have taken weeks or been impossible to track down even two decades ago. The internet allows contact between people who would never have been able to have contact because of geography, situation, etc.
The internet has created an idea of ideas as commodities in a way that was only ever present in academia prior to the widespread infiltration of the internet. But the internet has also cheapen ideas and devalued them.
While the internet fosters greater communication between people it also makes it far more superficial in a way that letters never did. It is possible to have a very quick "conversation" with another person and then never hear from them again and indeed this seems to be more of the norm than the exception on the internet. People move as insubstantial ghosts. Contact in many ways is very meaningless. So while greater communication is possible, it is incredibly limited. Some of the limitation is imposed because it is the internet and our animal senses cannot know the other person thoroughly enough to feel safe and so people limit what is known about themselves and move as ghosts. Only contacts that one knows in real life prior to communicating with them over the electronic media are safe. Contacts made via the internet always have a shadow of a doubt over them because there is no way to truly know them even if the exchange of information has been quite involved.
I am finding this crazy half life on the internet very confusing. I also wonder how much this impacts people in their real lives and if the guardedness of the electronic communication doesn't seep into the real world and create a mindset where contacts are only worth having on a superficial level and based on what they can provide. At what point do we as the creators of this system become some kind of lackey controlled by it?
I don't have any good conclusions. Just more confusion that leaves me seriously wondering the total value of the internet as a whole and how one navigates through the electronic media with their whole person intact.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Jason de Caires Taylor
This morning's featured artist on www.artistaday.com is sculptor Jason de Caires Taylor. Please take a moment and visit his website at www.underwatersculpture.com/index.asp. He is credited with creating the first underwater sculpture park. His creations have an ageless beauty as if they have become part of the ocean and indeed many of them have. His works are not static. They are transformed by the environment in which they are placed becoming part of the ecology. In his art he is commenting on time and the environment. This image put me at peace this morning.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Bohemian Life Skills-- Making Bread
This is the first of what might be a series of posts depending on the response to it. I have all these things that I know how to do and stuff that I know how to make and I don't think too much about it. Other people have kind of encouraged me to post about the cooking, craft, and various other skills that I have. Most of this stuff is really simple and easy to do so I am dubious that anyone is going to want any information on any of this. In picking a place to start, I decided to start with making a very basic loaf of white bread. When I was growing up, my great grandmother, Lillian Miller, used to make bread and she made white bread similar to the bread that I am going to give instructions on how to make. Making bread is very easy, very cheap, and very yummy. It is the staff of life and a great place to start with basic bohemian life skills. Basic White Bread
Ingredient list
-4 teaspoons or two foil packs of active dry yeast
-1/2 cup warm water
-1/8 cup honey
-1 cup milk
-1 cup warm water
-2 tablespoons butter
-1 tablespoon salt
-4 to 6 cups unbleached bread flour
-extra butter for greasing loaf pans and
-a little extra vegetable shortening
Before we start, I want to give a wee bit of information about flour because not all flour is exactly the same. That is why in the ingredient list the range of the amount of flour is from four to six cups. The moisture content in wheat flour varies for a variety of reasons-- things like whether it was winter wheat or summer wheat and how long it was stored. Also, there are many different types of flour that have different qualities. For instance, cake flour has a lower gluten content. Gluten is what makes bread chewy but when you are making a cake, you
want it to be light and fluffy not chewy like bread. Similarly, bread flour has a higher gluten content. When you want to make bread, get good bread flour. I recommend the King Arthur brand of unbleached bread flour for making bread. It yields fairly consistent results and is of good quality. If all you have in your cupboards or pantry is all purpose flour, you may need to buy what is called wheat gluten which is a powder that can be added to your flour to help the texture of your bread. For more information about gluten here is a link to wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gluten. Because the moisture content in flour varies, when we get to the part where you add the flour to make the dough for the bread don't just measure out a measure of flour and then dump it into your mixing bowl.
Now, for a little bit of information about yeast. There are a few different types of bread yeast that you can use. There are little cakes in foil that can be found in the refrigerated section of the grocery store or little jars and foil pouches in the baking section. Any of these will do. If you use a little refrigerated foil pouch, you will only need one full inch by one inch square. If you are using the foil packets, you will need two packets. If you buy a small jar of yeast, then you will need 4 teaspoons of yeast. The most important things to keep in mind about yeast are that if it has been in the pantry for awhile, it is probably beyond its expiration date and you should buy some new yeast and that it is an alive substance and it is going to be sensitive to temperatures. Extremely hot temperatures or extremely cold temperatures will kill the yeast. Yeast likes to be in a nice warm area.
Okay, now let's get started.
1. The very first thing to do is to turn the oven on to its lowest setting and just start to get it to warm up. The dough that you create will rise on the stovetop first in bowl and then in two loaf
pans. A nice warm, but not hot, area will assist the yeast in helping the dough to rise. Also, then the oven will begin to be warmed up for when it is actually time to put the pans in to bake.
2. Empty the contents of the yeast packets or spoon the yeast granules into a ceramic. Add the 1/2 cup of warm water and the 1/8 cup of honey into the bowl and stir the the yeast mixture until the yeast granules are dissolved.
It will have a yeasty smell and may look beige and like funny runny batter. Set the bowl with the yeast aside and let the little beasties feast on honey and frolic in the warm water.
3. Next, take out a small sauce pan and put the 2 tablespoons of butter, 1 tablespoon of salt, and 1 cup of milk into the saucepan. Place the saucepan on the stove over medium heat and heat
the milk mixture so that the butter melts and the milk swells up and tries to escape over the edge of the pan-- but don't let it! Turn off the stovetop and/or move the pan off of the heat as soon as this occurs. Using a wooden spoon, mix the mixture and pour in 1 cup of warm water. Continue to stir the milk, butter, salt, and water mixture until it cools back to being warm. To test if it is cooled off enough, take a drop of the milk mixture and place it on your wrist. It should not feel hot. If it feels at all hot,
keep cooling the milk mixture.
4. Once the milk mixture is cool enough, which should not take more than five to ten
minutes of stirring, pour it into a large stainless steel bowl and add the yeast mixture. The yeast mixture at this point should be kind of bubbly. Gently stir the two liquids together.
5. Measure out up to six cups of flour and have the flour handy. Start by putting approximately 4 cups of the flour into the liquid mixture and stir it with the wooden spoon. Stir the mixture until it can no longer be stirred easily. Then comes the fun part. Put your hands into the sticky dough and squish it through your fingers. If it feels very sticky, add more of the flour. Keep adding the flour until it feels slightly sticky and approaching what play dough felt like when you were a kid. Sprinkle some more flour onto a counter top and place the dough on the flour on the counter top. Keep working the dough until it no longer feels sticky. It should look kind of shiny and not feel too crumbly or dry. If it has gotten too dry,-- no worries. Just sprinkle a little water on it and keep working it until it gets a smooth, kind of elastic, shiny look to it.
To knead bread dough, you push down with the heels of your hands, pull the dough back towards you, shape it into a ball by squishing it together, and then push down with the heels of your hands again. You do this until the dough is mixed or you are tired of playing with it. My grandmother used to let me and my cousins play with the dough for a while. The more that you play with the dough the more you stretch the string fibers in the bread and you might make it a little tough, but who cares? Have fun with it!
6. After you have a nice shiny, smooth ball of bread dough, wash out your stainless steel bowl and smear butter all over the inside of the bowl. You can use a stick of butter and just kind of draw on the stainless steel with the end of the stick of butter. Then place the dough ball in the bowl and turn it clockwise three times. If you don't do this, the magic of bread won't happen.
Just teasing.
But seriously, turn the bread in the bowl to coat the bread dough with a little butter. Turn the dough over and repeat this on the other side. Make sure that the ball is coated with butter. You can also smear a little vegetable oil over the dough ball. You want it coated so that it doesn't dry out as it raises.
7. Take the stainless steel bowl with the dough ball in it over to the stovetop and set it on the stovetop. Usually stoves are in a corner of a kitchen away from drafts and if the oven has been warming at the lowest setting possible, then the area of the stovetop will be pleasantly warm. Leave the the stainless steel bowl with the bread dough in it on top of the stovetop and cover it with either some paper towel or a dish towel. This will be the first rising for your bread.
Usually it takes about an hour for the dough to double in size which is what you want. So go and read a short story or work on some poetry or make a cup of tea and sketch or whatever.
8. After an hour has passed, come back and check on your bread dough. It should have doubled in size and look kind puffily swollen. Now you get to "punch it down". It will kind of collapse as you push on it. Knead the dough again and divide it into two balls. Knead and shape the balls until they are round and smooth and kind of shiny. In the same way that you coated the stainless steel bowl, coat two metal loaf pans with butter. Place one bread dough ball into each of the loaf pans and kind of swirl and rub them around in the pan to coat them with butter or smear a little vegetable oil on the bread dough balls to coat them. Again, you want them to be coated so that they don't dry out while the dough is rising. As you did before with the stainless steel bowl with the bread dough in it, place the loaf pans on the stovetop and cover them with a towel. Leave them on the stovetop to rise.
This time turn your oven temperature up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit (233 degrees celsius) so that the oven can warm up. Again let the dough rise for about an hour.
9. After an hour has passed, come back and check on the dough. It should have doubled in size and risen within the loaf pans. Take off th
e towel and set it aside. Place the loaf pans into the pre-heated oven and bake the bread loafs at 450 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 minutes. After ten minutes turn the heat down to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (177 degrees celsius)and continue to bake the loaves for an additional 30 minutes.
10. Check on the loaves at this point. They should be golden brown on top and if you thump one with a n index finger it should sound hollow. That means that the loaves are done. Take them out of the oven and turn them out on their sides onto a cutting board to cool off. After they have cooled a wee bit, slice with a bread knife, and enjoy the marvelous bread that you have made. I love homemade with white cheddar cheese or homemade jam.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Got a Laugh
I just returned from an afternoon of being identified. Actually kind of cross referenced and identified. I had to be fingerprinted in order to apply for a teaching certificate and I applied for a passport to go into Canada next summer. All in all the afternoon was an interesting afternoon.
The police officer whose job it was to fingerprint me told me to relax and let him do the work. I found this kind of amusing. Especially considering he was fingerprinting me. I explained that I was rather an energetic individual and it was difficult for me to just let him do the work. He smiled at me and asked how my being energetic worked around small children. I explained that we have a great deal of fun together but it keeps the property damage to a minimum if the children are smaller. He smiled wider at me. I could not get a laugh out of him. Maybe they are paid not to laugh.
Next I went for my passport photos. I despise being photographed because I never think that any of the photographs look particularly like me. They always look dead to me because I animate myself. The clerk in the elections office given the task of taking photos was a kindred spirit. I have never had so much fun completing routine, official-like tasks. We took multiple photos, discussed the important life issue of utterly unruly hair, and considered her wedding plans and desire to not have a photographer at her wedding. I left her office with two slightly sticky passport photos. She explained that it was important that we take multiple photos because some people's heads are bigger and the heads in the photos have to be just the right size. We were just getting my head the right size. That's all.
Then I went to the records room. Say that with an ominous note in your voice. The Records Room. The serve a number display was on number 86. They had not advanced the number in awhile and began advancing and calling out the numbers. I announced that it was like an auction which got a chuckle out of a few of the people waiting. But none of the clerks. Again, are these people paid not to laugh? Number 94 was called and an older woman rose. I stage whispered to her that she was the next contestant in get that record. She smiled at me and I got a laugh. But not from any of the clerks. One of the clerks called out number ninety five and a teenage girl bounced up from her seat in the waiting area and a younger clerk snagged her away. (I think the younger clerk was afraid of having her resolve to follow the directive not to laugh challenged by my presence and was worried that she might not be up for the task.) The older clerk looked at me and in a deadpan voice called out 96. I smiled and bounded over to her window. As cheerily as I could I gave her all my documents and she disappeared. She returned and asked me to raise my right hand. I have a hard time with the whole right-left thing. I almost broke her. She smiled widely and had to glance away to retain her composure.
We did the vow that I was who I said I was. An identity vow. Does this mean I can never change? Gods, I hope not. I am in the middle of some big changes and getting stuck would be ugly. I think it only applies to my name and that I was willing to turn in the pictures that the elections clerk took with the camera that has a sticker on it that says "Look at Me".
I wrote out my check to pay. And I wrote the wrong amount. I got a laugh. Hah! See even the tough old ones can be broken.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Minotaur-Emil Alzamora
I found this image of a sculpture by the artist Emil Alzamora through the artist a day website. Its realism in depicting the minotaur I found compelling so I thought I would share it. The link to view more Emil Alzamora art through the artist a day website is http://www.artistaday.com/?p=3199
A friend of mine named Deforest Piper who is an exceptionally talented writer and an artist recently wrote a poem entitled Asterion and Emil Alzamora's sculpture made me think of it. I e-mailed Deforest this morning and he sent me his poem and said that I could post it on my blog. Here it is:
Asterion
He had a really fucked up family.
I mean when your nephew kicks to death
Your niece for having the gall to get
Raped. That's not right. This same kid, angry
To the end, killed his father then killed
Himself. But nobody really knows
Why. We just have the story and who knows
If that's right. You can't trust his family.
His cousin married the man who killed
His brother. His mother put to death
His father's lovers, and was angry
Enough, and horny enough, to get
Knocked up by a bull of a man. You get
That sort of thing when everybody knows
Everyone. These small islands breed angry
Folk; and you can't really blame family
For your own problems. But he did 'til death
Took him down. His sister's lover killed
Him because his killers father killed
His brother. It doesn't ever get
Easier to figure out and ugly death
Seems to be the only end for who knows
How many generations. Family
Killing family. Always angry.
Animal crazy, not just angry.
Hell no! After all it's not just who killed
Who in his whacked out, fucked up family.
His uncle dreamed big only to get
Burned (along with the world). Everyone knows
His niece's kids brought the world more death
Than anyone. Ten years of hard death
Those kids brought. Wouldn't you be angry
At all of this? Heaven alone knows
What would have happened if they hadn't killed
His hopes. They locked him up so he couldn't get
His stars. Nope. All he had was family.
His family was responsible, you know?
He was surrounded by death, so he killed.
He could get nothing, so he got angry.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Realms of Fantasy NOT Closing
I had an e-mail come through from the broad universe list saying that Realms of Fantasy is NOT closing! If anybody out there has more info, please share it.
Monkey Mind Kind of Day
Once upon a time I tried to learn how to meditate and the instructor told me it was a hopeless endeavor because I have monkey mind. A monkey mind is when you have an abundance of thoughts and they are all going in different directions and you are pulled all over the place. This is kind of a normal state for me, but some days it is a bit more intense. Here are some of the things that I am thinking on this morning.
Matthew Ritchie
So today I am thinking about an artist whose work I adore named
Matthew Ritchie. The desktop on my old laptop had one of his paintings entitled "The Catastrophe of God" on it (which is to the left). It made reading the icons difficult but I very much liked the painting. On the PBS Art 21 biography of him which can be found at http://www.pbs.org/art21/artists/ritchie they discuss his work as follows:
"His artistic mission has been no less ambitious than an attempt to represent the entire universe and the structures of knowledge and belief that we use to understand and visualize it. Ritchie's encyclopedic project (continually expanding and evolving like the universe itself) stems from his imagination, and is catalogued in a conceptual chart replete with allusions drawn from Judaeo-Christian religion, occult practices, Gnostic traditions, and scientific elements and principles. Ritchie's paintings, installations, and narrative threads delineate the universe's formation as well as the attempts and limits of human consciousness to comprehend its vastness. Ritchie's work deals explicitly with the idea of information being 'on the surface', and information is also the subject of his work."
I will be honest. I am not certain of all the implications of the above statement and some of it seems like artspeak mumbo-jumbo, but his work for me falls under the category of speculative and I am moved by its vastness.
Adjectives
I have also been thinking about adjectives today. I like adjectives, but I think my fondness for them may be a case of infatuation where the love I give is not returned in equal measure. I very much enjoy words-- I love discovering news words and sometimes will trip over myself to use a new word that has come into my vocabulary or been rediscovered. However, in my writing I am not sure that this always helps. As one very astute reader who offered a very in depth and useful critique noted, too many adjectives make a sentence hard to unpack and the mind simply reduces it down to a simpler statement. I need to think more on adjectives and when they are appropriate. Metaphors and similes hold greater power it seems to me because they can be used to create associations within the mind of the reader and thus make the words reverberate with more meaning than that which is simply held upon the page.
Poetry
I have been thinking about poetry. Recently I went through some of my books and reread some poems by Gary Snyder who as I have said before is a beat poet who uses natural images and has a zen aesthetic to his work. His work is evocative and straightforward.
Last week I read some Shakespeare and was struck by the elegance of his meter and his clever turning of phrases to convey meaning. I also read some T.S. Eliot. I am always left in awe of T.S. Eliot's ability to spin complete images from a few carefully chosen words. And the language flows with inspiration and beauty. I recorded mp3's of 2 of Shakespeare's sonnets and T.S. Eliot's poem Preludes. I may put a link up to them later when I have more time, but I want to listen to them first and see if they are loud enough because I am not certain that the recording quality was very good.
Science Fiction
Last night I wanted to send a link or a copy of a story entitled Oscar Night, 2054 by Syne Mitchell to a friend but it is not available anywhere on the internet that I could find for free. The story is very good and it is in a collection entitled Futures from Nature: 100 Speculative Fictions edited by Henry Gee. So instead I sent him links to a variety of different science fiction stories that I believe hold some merit. I have been trying to come to some conclusions about what constitutes good science fiction, but I will save that for another blogpost when I have more time to compose my thoughts. If you have ideas on this, please leave them as comments to fuel my thoughts. The stories that I have been reading and considering are:
Harlan Ellison's Paladin of the Lost Hour which can be found at http://harlanellison.com/iwrite/paladin.htm
Larry Niven's The Inconstant Moon
Elizabeth Bear's Timeline
Poul Anderson's The Saturn Game
Spider Robinson's Melancholy Elephants
Mike Resnick's Kirinyaga
Connie Willis' Firewatch
Hopefully if you try these links they will take you where they are supposed to. I am hoping I didn't get characters and numbers mixed up.
ETC.
I am also having thoughts about the power of friendships and what constitutes a friendship. When you have a 'friend', what does this really mean? Is this just a person that you swap talents and skills with and use as a resource? Is this someone who can know you over some time and see who you are? What makes someone a friend or not? Just being an acquaintance with regularity?
Why do we animate inanimate objects and imbue them with a personality? For instance people often name their cars? Why?
Communication. I have been thinking about how people communicate in so many different ways and how there are so many possibilities for a breakdown in understanding. For instance, when we speak to one another, we interpret things via tone of voice and body language in addition to the actual words that are said. Further, the breakdown can happen at the source or at the reception end.
I could go on, but this post is approaching gargantuan proportions.
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